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I want candy

Hey kids, I ate your Halloween candy!
Because kids need that moment caught on video to be reminded of the
day they learned what
passive-aggressive
behavior was.
Thanks Mom & Dad.
You suckOver the last few weeks, I read countless posts about candy; ranging from eating the candy that was intended for the kids, sorting the Halloween bounty, kids eating their hard earned treats, and the videos of children reacting to being told that all their candy was eaten by someone else.

The truth is, that in our house, candy isn't a big deal. Unless it is dark chocolate. But dark chocolate is chock-full of antioxidants and has ingredients I can pronounce and define. It is fruit of the earth.

Long before we had the kids, Husband and I made an agreement that we weren't going to give them food with little nutritional value. Kids only knew what we taught them and if we taught them about whole foods and nutrition, then that is what they would know and eat. We weren't gong to use food as rewards, or something given as an expression of love. We weren't going to completely deny them of it. If they wanted to try it, fine, but it was limited. But then we entered the world of ABA and incentives and rewards, but that is a different ball of wax.

Over the years, we can say that we've been moderately successful with our plan. #1 doesn't care about candy at all. #2 has impulsive behavior, so the limitations we already had in place, have served him well. #3 and The Twins like some candy, but they also have taken bites out of lesser quality candy and handed it right back to me.

This Halloween, we dressed them all up, and we hit the hood. We reviewed the Halloween protocol: One member of our team would ring or knock once. When a person opened the door, everyone would say "trick or treat" and then after candy was placed in their bags, they would say "Thank you! Happy Halloween."  We wound up having to prep them at almost every house. It's seven words people. Get it down.

 For #1, trick or treating was more about checking out our neighbors houses and seeing who lived there, than the candy. Every house he'd ask, "what's your name again?" Um, you never knew it buddy. They just live among us. At least this year he wasn't trying to enter every single house on the block.  

#2 the Aspy, has the triple allergy: wheat, eggs, and dairy.  For him, trick or treating is all about finding the houses that give him the treats he can have. When he found a house that had Starbursts or Smarties, he was mega-excited. "Look Mom, THEY HAVE SKITTLES!!!!!" Victory dance followed. You work those moves, Wolverine.

#3 was the challenge.  At each house, he would get his piece of candy and then stand there waiting for a second opportunity to score. After the fourth time, we asked why he didn't say "thank you" and get out of the way. He replied that he knew they wanted to give him more candy and if he continued to stand there, they would give it to him. What a clever little bugger.  The candy stalker. Give that kid 100 snicker bars.

The twins were happy to walk around in their costumes, but after the 10th house, they didn't care about the candy, the walk or the fun and wanted to go home.

When we got home, I offered all the kids goodie bags in exchange for their candy. "You can all keep 10 peices of candy and you can trade the rest." The girls glady accepted their dollar store goodies and they kept all of the M&M's. #1 handed me the bag and didn't even want to exchange it for anything, "You can have it. I dont want it,"he said, as he ran off to watch Just Dance Videos.

#2 divided the bag into two piles: the "what I CAN eat" and "what I CAN'T eat". He refused to trade, but asked if he could take the candy and conduct science experiments with it. We let him unwrap the candy and melt it in the microwave. He liked to see which candy melted first and what color it turned and compared the smells. You go buddy. Melt that shit up. So much better than eating it.

 #3 refused to exchange at all. He wanted his bag of candy. He wanted to play with it and eat it. Everyday since Halloween, he asks to eat candy. I always tell him he can have a piece after he finishes his reading. "Aw mom, why you have to be so mean?" he moans. "Well, it's just becasue it comes so naturally," I reply, "no bookie, no candy." Maybe at some point the novelty will wear off, but the meaness, well, that's here to stay. 

So, what did we do with their candy? We gave a bunch to school and they donated it to some hospitals for the kids. I know, like they need that shit? but I digress. We put the rest in a jar on top of the china cabinet for friends that are in desperate need of sugar, or if we need an incentive for #3 or The Twins.

And what did we hand out to the kids this year? We handed out pencils, spider rings, stickers and pretzels. 

No one egged our house.
No one would dare. 
I am from NJ and I own a pick-axe.




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