A Tribute to Will, my Son's BFF

"Knowing that Isaac had a friend like him was everything to me. Isaac wasn't very social, but Will got him and that was magic."

Isaac and Will on a field trip

 We recently learned that a sweet boy from Isaac's class recently passed away and it shook me to the core.  He was a sophomore at Georgetown University and just 20 years old. When I met him, he was a picture perfect kid: kind, sincere, compassionate, funny and with a heart of gold.  Will was the BFF of my oldest son, Isaac who has Autism. 

Fifth Grade holiday party

Isaac met Will in the third grade when he transferred to Jacksonville Elementary school. Will quickly  became Isaac's friend and helped him acclimate. Knowing that Isaac had a friend like him was everything to me. Isaac wasn't very social, but Will got him and that was magic. Isaac needed a typical peer  to show him "how to boy" and Will did just that. Isaac loved his new class, and for the first time, he wanted a birthday party.  For the next three years, at each party, Will was by his side.                    

Fourth grade Halloween

Every time I was in the building, be it class events or field trips, I got to see how Isaac melded with his class and saw those two together. I enjoyed learning about the little boy who made my boy feel included. Will was like a 40-year-old in an 10-year-old body.  I always told him how much I appreciated him being in Isaac's life. I also told him I would bail him out of jail if he ever needed that, and he laughed that "you're-so-silly" laugh and then launched right into a really bad joke. He had a talent for that too. 

And because he loved my kid, nobody was going to mess with Our Will on my watch. When there was drama at school, I was on it. I was not going to let anything affect that  friendship. It was my duty as helicopter mom to keep it all going and to take out any potential issues. Outside of school,  Isaac loved having play dates with Will and loved playing laser tag. 

Fifth grade graduation

On a field trip to Camden Yards, my husband recalled a memory when he was the chaperone for Isaac and Will. They were walking past a homeless person when Will stopped and handed him a couple of dollars. Not exactly the type of thing you expect from an ordinary 10 year old. But he wasn't ordinary.  He was Super Will and he was going places. 

Will, Isaac and Sammy at his bowling party

After they graduated from Jacksonville, they both went on to Cockeysville Middle school. Although they were in different classes, Will stayed in touch with Isaac and volunteered for Best Buddies. It was there that Will taught Isaac to play board games and practice reciprocal conversations which often involved really bad dad jokes. Those were the days that Isaac looked forward to.  Will graduated CMS a year before Isaac and he went on to a private high school. 

Their last photo together 2017

Aside from social media, we lost touch with him. I followed Will's Mom on Facebook and I cheered them on from the social media sidelines. When Will graduated high school, I cheered for him from in front of my computer screen. When he went on to Georgetown, I was so proud and looked forward to the greatness that awaited him. 

In my world as a special needs mom, I wanted Isaac to be acknowledged. I wanted him to have friends and I wanted him to feel like his life had meaning. I was so afraid that he would go to this new school and feel alone. So many people have dismissed him, put limits on him and his potential. Many kids stayed away because they didn't know how to approach or stay once they said "hello".  But Will saw him, understood him and embraced him how he was. And he kept coming back anyway. I am grateful to him because Isaac got to experience unconditional acceptance from a friend. Which is so rare, especially for the age group and for our friends with autism. 

Will did so much more than be his friend.

Will looked out for Isaac,                                                                      

Will helped Isaac, 

Will included Isaac,

Will accepted Isaac,

Will taught Isaac,

Will encouraged Isaac,

Will helped his class peers understand him and translate for him,

Will gave him a nonjudgmental neuro- typical peer role model.

Will helped me too. He gave me hope. He showed me that the things I wanted for my son were attainable and he was the facilitator.  Because Will was so extraordinary, a part of me was okay knowing that although my own child would have life long struggles just to reach a basic existence, Will would go on to be the amazing human that he was destined to be and I looked forward to watching that unfold in the years to come. The gratitude I have for that boy and his amazing parents who taught him to be that way is bottomless. 

Even though it has been six years since we last physically saw him, if you ask Isaac today, who his best friend is, he'll answer "Will". With Isaac, if he remembers you, you are his people. Knowing Will and being graced by his space, will carry us as we continue to have gratitude for what he did for Isaac those years ago. He did more for us than he realized. And it just flowed from him organically.

Will's legacy will live within us. It will inspire us to do better, be better, and be more compassionate in his memory. 

Dean and Ann, thank you for creating this extraordinary human.

Will, thank you for the memories.

You'll always have a place in our hearts. 

With love, 

The mom of your BFF. 

For other posts about Will:

September 13, 2013 

April 17, 2013 

October 22, 2013