The Secret

My husband and I went to our favorite fancy restaurant to celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary. At some point, I went to the ladies room. While I was in the ladies room, I complimented a woman on her outfit.

She returned the compliment and asked me if I was at the restaurant for a special occasion. I replied, "Yes, it's our 22nd wedding anniversary." She said, "I have only been married three years. What is your secret?"

Secret?

The question threw me off guard. I thought about it for a minute and responded "three things".

"Number one: Never take for granted the person who chooses to love you.

Number two: Focus on the good things. It is too easy to focus on what they don't do; what you wish they could do better. The truth is, the more you focus on the bad, the faster you lose sight of the good things. Stay positive and remember number one."

I then said, "number three, really doesn't apply to married life but to life with children. When you have babies, you're only focused on the babies. When they are three, you feel that 13 is far away, so when your friends with older kids talk, you don't really listen because it doesn't apply to you. You need to listen to them. That decade will go faster than you want it to and faster than you're prepared for it to. Listen to their stories and take notes. They possess valuable information."

I reflected on how fast our babies grew up. They are now 16, 14, 12 and the twins are almost 10. It felt like the last decade flew by.

She gave me the "you got five kids?" look. Gave me another compliment, thanked me for the "valuable information", wished me a happy anniversary, then went on her way.

I'm glad I could give her the secret of a successful marriage in a three minute conversation. For a moment, I felt just like Buddha. "a judgement of man is not what happiness makes."