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Breaking the record

If you're trying to break the world record for whiny and annoying 
behavior, you broke it
two hours ago. 

Mission accomplished. 

Now shut up.
"MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM", I heard #2 the Aspy, calling me in the "I know the people in South America can hear me from here" voice. "You're really loud," I told him. "Sorry.  I want to be in the Guinness Book of Word Records. What can I do to get in there?"

"I can build the world's largest sandwich and we can feed the world," he said. I asked him how someone would make bread for that and where he'd get the food. He then changed his mind.

"Why do you want to be in there?"  I asked him. "Most people don't even read it nor know anyone that is in there."

Not even phased, he continued talking and I'm quite sure that I didn't need to be in the room since he seemed to be talking to the air.

"We can build the world's largest fruit tower." Ok, how did I get roped into this? I asked him again, where the food would come from since all the fruit would need to be purchased from somewhere. "We'll ask our neighbors" he replied.  How much fruit does he think they eat?

Maybe he meant the world's largest fruit tower in Munchkin Land.

After listening to all his grand plans of food wasting, I suggested, "why don't you try to be the worlds fastest house cleaner? You can vacuum to practice. You know, it takes practice and training to get fast." 

He wasn't taking the bait. "Oh, mom. That's not in there." I asked him how he knew and he gave me the "what are you a moron? look, and kept brainstorming. Wait, did he just ROLL HIS EYES AT ME?!?!

An hour later he had come up with dozens of ideas but he hadn't consulted the book to see if they were records to break or set.

I finally said to him, "ya know, this year you get to participate in the Geo-Bee and you will be the youngest in the state participating.(When we moved to MD, he had already completed Kindergarten and someone with the same exact birthday as him is a full year below him.) We can check who the youngest winner of the Geo-Bee is and you can beat him." 

I saw his whole demeanor change and we went on Google to research "youngest Geo-Bee winner".  The youngest winner was a home-schooled 10 year old from Minnesota.  When #2 saw that he could be the first nine-year-old to win the Geo-Bee, he got excited. 

He is a Geography whiz. He loves maps and foreign cultures and is constantly regurgitating facts.  Nothing like hearing a random fact about the Incas at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. During the summer Olympics opening ceremonies in 2012, we placed a map of the world on the wall and he marked off each country as they entered the stadium. He only had trouble finding Seychelles.

"I can beat him Momma, " he proclaimed.

"I bet you can. But for now, you just have to practice," I replied.

And maybe we can work on some vacuuming too. I heard it is the National Sport of Seychelles.


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