I'M NOT DOING IT!

When #1 got off the bus, he was agitated. Usually he does the same thing everyday; walk in the house, walk right to the family room to see what is going on, check out the kitchen for snacks on display, and then take off his shoes and backpack. While he does his rounds I ask him how his day went and he always replies "great", before he runs upstairs to get the iPad. 

Today during his rounds, he said to me, "I'm not performing with Mrs. Allen's class tomorrow. I'm not doing it."  And then he ran off. Well, ok then.

Volunteer appreciation day was scheduled for the next day at school and his special education teacher asked him to perform a song with the other kids. He has a great voice and can bust a serious move, so it seemed like a good idea. That was until I heard him, "MOM, I'M NOT DOING IT!"

I wondered what could be the issue. Was it because he was fully mainstreamed and didn't go into her class anymore? Was it that he didn't like the song? That's why he won't sing in chorus. I told him I wanted to talk to him. I placed my hands on his head and turned his head so he'd look at me. I asked him, "Why don't you want to perform with Mrs. Allen's class? I'll be there."  

He looked at me and told me that if he performed the song, then he would miss a video that his mainstream class would be watching at that time. And apparently, that bothered him immensely

Wow. He just TOLD me what he was upset about. I didn't have to play the guessing game. I didn't have to ask a million questions and I didn't have to send emails to the teachers for insight on the problem. He simply told me. Wow, wow, freaking wow.

We have certainly come a long way. Just him being able to voice that feeling is a million miles from where he used to be. It wasn't long ago that he would get sullen and forlorn about such a trauma because the world would certainly end. And now, at 11 he is finding his words to express his feelings. 

And maybe, he has also learned that when he uses his words, we can help him. 

I told him, "let's come up with a plan. I know you want to watch that movie and Mrs. Allen and I really want you to sing, so how about we arrange so you can watch the movie after so you don't miss it?"

"Ok, Mom. I'll sing in the concert." he said as he ran off. 

Crisis averted for now.