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It's a Happy New Year until school begins

I knew the first day back after the break was going to be 
so bad, that I put vodka 
in the OJ last night. 
Wait, why do the kids 
look so relaxed?Nothing says "hell" more than the first day back from a school break.  Today was the day I've been dreading since the first day of school. With kids like mine, their world falls into two distinct categories: the schedule I like to keep and the schedule I have to keep. The first one is easy to maintain during breaks, and the second is where all the problems come from.

Why is it that every day during the break they can wake up at 7am, yet the first time they HAVE to get up, they don't and bitch about, "having to get up sooooooo early"?  WHY??!?! Murphy's Law, you are wicked in your truths. 

It was almost 8am and no one was awake. Crap, crap, crap. As soon as I told #2 it was time to wake up, he launched into an argument of why school was horrible and why it should be abolished. I told him to look on the bright side, that he could be Japanese and they go to school all year round. By the growl he gave me, I think he didn't appreciate the sentiment. He yelled, "School is horrible. I hate school." I replied, "Yes, it the most awful place in the world. It is worse than picking up trash in Cambodia. Horrible. But if it wasn't so horrible, break wouldn't be so good." Another growl. I was striking out, big time.

I knew that the majority of issues would come from #2 and #3 and by the time they left the house, anything could be thrown at me and it would been fine, because I had already been to hell and survived. 

#3 was a bear to wake up. He is the type of kid that may be awake, but will feign sleep if it means you leave him alone. His mood is always teetering between "I can be amused" and "I want to punch you in the face". Apparently you can't take the boy out of Jersey either, and it is a delicate dance. Proceed with caution or he will melt. I scooped him out of bed and pretended he was a baby again and talked baby-talk to him. He is actually a few pound lighter than the twins, so he isn't very heavy. I then offered him every possible incentive/bribe/reward to entice him to complete his morning rituals. I almost had him there, he was holding the green mini-figure package in his hands and I was telling him all the combinations we could make if the new guy was the gingerbread man. Then he snapped and ran into the basement. Husband grabbed him and took him upstairs to get dressed.

He was off the charts. He was standing in his room protesting being dressed, screaming louder than a holler monkey and trying to punch whoever was closest to him. I was surprised that the girls didn't wake up from that, but then again, they are conditioned to deal with noise. I had to hold his arms while Husband put on his pants. #2 was getting all his little digs in on #3 and #1 and we had to yell at him.  At that point #1, who was still in bed, was starting to reach his tolerance threshold and began yelling. We had to move #3 to our room to put his socks on. We got the socks on, but he was still charging us. At least he didn't strip back down. I picked him up, threw him suplex-style on the bed, took the king-size pillow and started whacking him on his back and pelvis. It's sensory, my dear. Once I started, he laid there absolutely still. And then it happened, I suddenly got very hot. A hot flash? Now? Really? Come on? Repeatedly whacking your child with a pillow is a work-out in itself, I didn't need the extra juice. This is the perfect time to remind me that my body once ran a lot ore efficiently. Thank you hormones. Thank you very much. Thanks for the memories. 

It was past 8:30. The bell rang at 8:40, they were going to be late. We got their coats, shoes and backpacks on, husband loaded them in the car and took them to school . Not sure if they made it on-time, it wasn't my problem.  I manged to get #1's teeth brushed and got him out the door when his bus pulled out front. 

It was 8:40 and the boys were out the house. The twins were still sleeping and at that moment, I felt like I could accomplish anything. Afterall, I had been through hell and back, anything was possible. 
Even hot flashes. Thank you, thank you very much.


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