Skip to main content

It's a Happy New Year until school begins

I knew the first day back after the break was going to be 
so bad, that I put vodka 
in the OJ last night. 
Wait, why do the kids 
look so relaxed?Nothing says "hell" more than the first day back from a school break.  Today was the day I've been dreading since the first day of school. With kids like mine, their world falls into two distinct categories: the schedule I like to keep and the schedule I have to keep. The first one is easy to maintain during breaks, and the second is where all the problems come from.

Why is it that every day during the break they can wake up at 7am, yet the first time they HAVE to get up, they don't and bitch about, "having to get up sooooooo early"?  WHY??!?! Murphy's Law, you are wicked in your truths. 

It was almost 8am and no one was awake. Crap, crap, crap. As soon as I told #2 it was time to wake up, he launched into an argument of why school was horrible and why it should be abolished. I told him to look on the bright side, that he could be Japanese and they go to school all year round. By the growl he gave me, I think he didn't appreciate the sentiment. He yelled, "School is horrible. I hate school." I replied, "Yes, it the most awful place in the world. It is worse than picking up trash in Cambodia. Horrible. But if it wasn't so horrible, break wouldn't be so good." Another growl. I was striking out, big time.

I knew that the majority of issues would come from #2 and #3 and by the time they left the house, anything could be thrown at me and it would been fine, because I had already been to hell and survived. 

#3 was a bear to wake up. He is the type of kid that may be awake, but will feign sleep if it means you leave him alone. His mood is always teetering between "I can be amused" and "I want to punch you in the face". Apparently you can't take the boy out of Jersey either, and it is a delicate dance. Proceed with caution or he will melt. I scooped him out of bed and pretended he was a baby again and talked baby-talk to him. He is actually a few pound lighter than the twins, so he isn't very heavy. I then offered him every possible incentive/bribe/reward to entice him to complete his morning rituals. I almost had him there, he was holding the green mini-figure package in his hands and I was telling him all the combinations we could make if the new guy was the gingerbread man. Then he snapped and ran into the basement. Husband grabbed him and took him upstairs to get dressed.

He was off the charts. He was standing in his room protesting being dressed, screaming louder than a holler monkey and trying to punch whoever was closest to him. I was surprised that the girls didn't wake up from that, but then again, they are conditioned to deal with noise. I had to hold his arms while Husband put on his pants. #2 was getting all his little digs in on #3 and #1 and we had to yell at him.  At that point #1, who was still in bed, was starting to reach his tolerance threshold and began yelling. We had to move #3 to our room to put his socks on. We got the socks on, but he was still charging us. At least he didn't strip back down. I picked him up, threw him suplex-style on the bed, took the king-size pillow and started whacking him on his back and pelvis. It's sensory, my dear. Once I started, he laid there absolutely still. And then it happened, I suddenly got very hot. A hot flash? Now? Really? Come on? Repeatedly whacking your child with a pillow is a work-out in itself, I didn't need the extra juice. This is the perfect time to remind me that my body once ran a lot ore efficiently. Thank you hormones. Thank you very much. Thanks for the memories. 

It was past 8:30. The bell rang at 8:40, they were going to be late. We got their coats, shoes and backpacks on, husband loaded them in the car and took them to school . Not sure if they made it on-time, it wasn't my problem.  I manged to get #1's teeth brushed and got him out the door when his bus pulled out front. 

It was 8:40 and the boys were out the house. The twins were still sleeping and at that moment, I felt like I could accomplish anything. Afterall, I had been through hell and back, anything was possible. 
Even hot flashes. Thank you, thank you very much.


Popular posts from this blog

Diary of a music mom

Since fifth grade, both #1 and #2 have been playing instruments; #1, the saxophone and #2, the trombone. #1, Autism classic, plays the very same saxophone that I started on in fifth grade. I  teach him daily and we go once a week to our new sax teacher and they work on jazz. #2, the aspy is a lot more autonomous and he doesn't require my attention when he practices and gets by with his weekly skype lessons from grandpa and his private teacher.

Every year, our school district hosts a solo and ensemble festival. The kids have roughly eight weeks to choose a listed piece and then perform it with an accompaniment. Every year, I make the boys participate even though it means I need to spend more time with #1 to make sure he doesn't sound like a moose in the wild and more like a saxophone player.

It always turns out like this:
I choose the new piece and we trudge through it slowly and painfully.
I second guess my choice because I think it's too much, too hard, too intricate for …

My Heart Will Go On

At the end of the school year, the teachers usually host an event to give thanks to the many parents who helped out during the school year. When I went to #1's school, they had an elaborate spread and the highlight was when the sign language club performed a few songs.  #2 & #3's school, had their volunteer appreciation breakfast last week, and I was happy that I was able to bring the twins with me.

Everything was great. There was food, coffee, juice and some awesome moms. But, then the music teacher brought in the fourth grade class and they were all holding their recorders. Great. One kid practicing the recorder at home is painful enough.  Forty kids playing recorder in a quasi-controlled group is just one way the music teacher can express her feelings about not getting any holiday presents or special accolades during teacher appreciation week. F-U people, I teach your talentless kids and it is a thankless and painful job.  I'm going to let you know how much I apprec…

World Autism Awareness Month: A Time To Focus On Our Similarities.

Tomorrow, April 2, is World Autism Awareness day. I thought about all the things I could say about awareness and then I realized that the people who read this blog know all this stuff. With the latest release from the CDC about the number of children diagnosed with Autism now at 1:68, there will be a day that everyone will know or be related to someone with Autism. And unfortunately,  It is only when something affects everyone is when things will change.

I decided to re-share excerpts from my post: We're More alike than you think. The post was inspired by Willman Stillman and my self-observations. Everyday I look at my children and realize I have more Autistic qualities that I realized. I have also realized that it not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe melting and throwing myself on the ground if I can't find my keys may be over-doing it a bit, but many things are really a core part of me; like my ability to memorize information. It comes in handy on Black Friday for sure.