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Waiting for the call

What? You're telling me that you set my kid up for failure and 
he did something bad? 

Big fucking surprise.
Now tell me, 
are you ready 
to listen?In Baltimore, yesterday was the first day of school. We prepped them the day before, by packing their backpacks and setting up their lunches. We showed them everything in their packs and talked about school. We had gone on the Friday before school began for their "sneak peek" so they could visit their new class rooms and meet their new teachers. They could see which classmates from their class the previous year were in their classes and which ones weren't. I was happy that the kids were placed with some of their friends, and my friends. We were glad that the kids had that opportunity so it could help with the transition to a smooth first day at school

But that was also the time that I realized that although we talked with the Assistant Principal about #3 having an aide, he didn't have one in place for the start of the year. Great. They are setting him up for failure. Great, just freaking great.

#3 is the most unpredictable of all the kids. His combination of PDD/NOS/ODD combined with some ADHD and sensory issues, makes him a wild card. He HATES to read and he only wants to do things on his terms. When he is in a cooperative mood, he is super. When he is motivated and happy, he is amazing. But when he is not, watch out. He can go from passive to atomic bomb in less than three seconds and his screams can put a flock of hungry seagulls to shame. He is unpredictable on most days and most of my frustration as a parent comes from trying to figure out the best way to deal with him. His fickleness and emotional vacillations have me on standby, I honestly never know how he is going to react when I ask him to do something or when his siblings approach him, and it is hard.

We knew this school year wasn't going to be easy, and now #3 was in first grade. He has to work. He has to read and he has to listen. He is with an amazing teacher, but I am waiting for it to go bad, because it will.

Their morning transitions went well. #1 was excited and fine. #2 was excited and happy to see his aide and his friends. #3 was happy. That is, until he actually had to make some sort of progress to go to school. He refused to get dressed, he refused to eat breakfast, he refused everything.  And when we started taking things away from him, he gladly gave them up indicating that he wasn't going to fold that easily. So we had to revert back to  "if you're not going to listen, then you'll be in time-out" strategy, which turned into a time-out scream-fest.

After a few minutes, I went to him and said, "I don't want to yell at you. Let's go and get dressed and you can earn some Lego after you had a good day." And for some reason, he went with me and husband took over and got him dressed, brushed and ready. He still was protesting, but #2 was engaging him in excited chatter which distracted him just enough to get him outside.

I managed to get a few pictures of them before he threw up his "no paparazzi" hands and refused all pictures.

After school, #2 went into a full explanation of which kids were in his class and how many years he has been with different ones and which ones he has for the first time. #1 had a "great" day.  And #3 didn't say much but we had his classmate over after school and she told me exactly how #3 did in class.  "Well, at first he was swinging around but he didn't hit anyone. And then he had to sit between the teachers legs because he was moving around the room. He was good for lunch though."I have a tell-all spy in the class. Love it. Gotta give her a lolly-pop.

I am wondering how long it is going to take before the newness wears off and #3 is causing problems. I wonder how long it will take before I get my first call from the principal explaining something he has done. And then I will ask again, "when is he getting an aide?" I then will be reminded of the complexities and red tape to getting an aide, but then, I may have to get my armor back out and fight this time. I was hoping that we didn't have to fight again, especially since I thought we were all on the same page about him needing one. I thought we had enough data from last year to prove the need.

So, I guess my first assignment of the school year is to talk to the Assistant Principal and ask her about the aide.  My kids go through so much, that it is hard to sit around and let them fail. That is not within my composition. It is much easier to be pro-active than reactive. Plus, the recovery time is less, and there is no need for my phone to ring. I like it better that way.
#2, my 4th grader
#1, my 5th grader
#3, my 1st grader


  1. How beautiful. Im starting to work the the phased out autistic kids from PA and they are coming back to NY. Its rough but Im enjoying each min of learning about the ups,downs and oh all the questions I have. You def are a superhero.!!


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