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Poopies, Pukies and Sick, Oh My


The Eskimos have almost a hundred words to describe "snow."  I have almost as many to define body fluids. Over the last two weeks, I have been immersed in the world of boogers, sick poopies and pukies and learned to appreciate the value of paper towels.  I feel like my super hero utility belt should have a roll attached to it, ready to clean messes on the fly. And boy have they been flying.


The week before spring break, I started to put plans into place of how I would keep five kids active enough to prevent them from reenacting scenes from the fighting video games. And then, our house became the Casa de Sick and everything that was planned was no longer an option. 

First we all got hit with the fever thing and just when we were beginning to get better, we got hit with the stomach virus. The fever thing managed to leave #1 and my husband alone, but the stomach virus took no prisoners and worked it's awful way through our family like a slow moving wave.  On Easter, my ear clogged up and my hearing was greatly reduced in one ear. This could be seen as an advantage with all the kids home for eight more days. Built in ear plugs. Each day passed by managing fevers, puking positions, cleaning up misc body fluids and doing more laundry than ever thought possible.

We were in poop and puke paradise and the sick wouldn't leave.  Talk about a Bounty challenge.

Try teaching a four year old the protocols of puking while they're in mid flow. "ok girls, we puke in the bathroom, a garbage can, and if you can't make it, anywhere but the carpet." Carpet is so over-rated. Just thinking about the abuse it has gotten from five kids puking all over it, makes me never want to go without slippers again. Give the kids apple juice, not grape juice. Grape juice stains.

I also had to negotiate a proper puking place for #1. He deemed the potty as an inappropriate puking receptacle. He wanted to stay in his bed, but after I explained to him that we'd have to change his bed every time he puked in it, we both agreed that for this type of puke, puke #34, the sink was a viable option. 

When sping break ended, I was hoping that the sick would leave too, but to no avail. #1 missed his first day of school this year. With three puking children at home I went through more rolls of paper towels than I can remember. At one point, I was running between two puking and one potty bound kid. Twin S looked scared when she felt a different type of poopies than she was used to. "Mommy, what are these poopies?", poop #21. "Those are sick poopies", I replied. she took a minute to process the new information and then she said in her hand waving chatter, "mama, the sick poopies are flowing like water from my butt. They don't feel so good. They splash in the water. Are you gonna wipe me?" Good observation. The best four year poet I have heard to date.

I had to Google "drinking alcohol while on anti-biotics", this is what I found: "Although alcohol doesn't reduce the effectiveness of most antibiotics, it can reduce your energy and delay how quickly you recover from illness. So, it's a good idea to avoid alcohol until you finish your antibiotics and are feeling better.

Only one more day to twitch through and hopefully, fingers crossed, everyone is ok by then. Note to self: buy more paper towels.


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