Skip to main content
 Homework Happy Hour




Oh Mommy, I love Homework!!!

Said no one ever.
I used to catch snippets of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" when my mom used to visit. She was addicted to GSN, the game show network. I used to think, "I have a MA in Asian Studies and have quite the extensive education, I'd kick ass on that show." But then, #1 became a fourth grader and between him and my aspy third grader, I wondered how I got through elementary school at all. Did they even teach the same crap they are teaching now, way back then? I don't think so. I remember my desk at school chock full of worksheets I never completed and somehow I managed to get away with it and graduate elementary school. I wondered, if I were going through school now, would I make it through?  I am grateful that I don't have to  answer that question. Though based on my inability to help with homework some days, I tend to think that I wouldn't.

Trying to navigate three children through homework makes you question who really invented happy hour. The witching hour is between four and six in the afternoon.  Grab the vodka and red bull and press "go".  It is the time you are trying to get dinner ready and the homework done because when the kids get out of school, the clock starts ticking down to bedtime. (Bedtime=when mommy finally gets a freaking break.) Of course, after a full day at school, they are fried and no matter how you try to package it, homework sucks no matter when you try to get it done. "Oh mommy, I love homework!", said no one ever.

 The minute you open your kid's homework folder, the general reaction is "fuck?!? Really. That will take all of my energy and time plus, I may have to Wikipedia it because I have no fucking clue what it is, what I'm supposed to do with it, or how to do it.

So between managing the meltdowns that come with making kids do homework and getting #3 to read,  (#3 is in Kindergarten and he just has to read 15 minutes a night. Sounds easy? Wrong. Some days I could promise that kid a Maserati, and the way he screams I swear he is saying "F-U" in some martian sound, that challenges the sound barrier. But last night, Hershey hugs and some left over holiday candy did the trick. Yes, I sugared up my kid to get production. It's called incentives. Got a problem with that?) I also have to deal with the twins, whose specialty at this point, is input and output. They eat all day long, and then they call me with the utmost urgency because they have to hold court on the potty. MOMMY, I HAVE TO GO PEE-PEES." And in toddler language it means, "drop everything and be my potty pal, RIGHT NOW" And the second I get up from the homework table to help the girls, the boys bolt to the far corners of the house or yard. They don't know what "independent work" is.

The challenge most days is after I have put the other four to bed and I finally get back to the table to finish the homework with #1 , I am 98% fried and twitching. Unfortunately, it is usually the time that he is most engaging. Talk about bad timing. He was reading a chapter about the first moon walk and he went into a quasi-scripted scene from Wall-E and then asked if the axiom greeted the astronauts when they landed on the moon. But the thing was, his was joking with me. His face was poised in amusement and he was just waiting for me to respond and when I tried to bring him back to task, he tried to push further and talk about Eve and if she greeted the astronauts. He was engaging in quasi-typical behavior, but I was so fried, that I laughed and begged him to get back to task before I lost my mind completely. 

 The best day of the week for me is Friday. Not because it is the end of the work week, my work week continues regardless of the day, it is because there is no homework. They come home from school and it is free time. I don't have to get three kids through homework or meltdowns. I just have to make sure the beer is cold, the Wii controllers are charged and the pizza is ordered. Now that, sound like a happy hour I could deal with every day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Zipping and Buttoning in the new dimension

We just bought #1 jeans for the first time. At the age of 14, he just mastered how to zip and button pants. Yes, I am crying.

In the last few years, he has grown considerably. In just four years, he went from a very cute 10/12 to an adult extra large. His feet are a men's size 12. We have big people stock. 

I had the moment when I realized that he has outgrown most of his clothes, so I had to take him shopping. I let him select colors and types of clothes; hoodies, t-shirts, sweatpants, and then I selected a few pairs of jeans to try. He hasn't worn jeans since he was a toddler because once he had to zip and button them himself, he couldn't. He just didn't have the strength or dexterity in his hands to do it.

In the fitting room, I told him, "We're going to try on some jeans, just to see." He managed to button and zip each pair I handed him, ON HIS OWN. I was thrilled.  Once we found the right size, colors and cuts, we tired on outfits, and he liked his r…

A letter to my fellow special needs moms

Dear fellow mom of a special needs child,

I want you to know that when I met you,  there was something about you that made me want to become friends with you. It wasn't the fact that your kid also had a disability, it was that I sensed that there was so much more to you that I wanted to learn about. Your kid sharing the same diagnosis as mine, wasn't a factor in my choice.

But it seems lately, that that is the only thing you want to talk about.

As you know, every single one of my five children have a developmental disability. It is a hard and draining journey and it makes life really difficult most of the time. When I get to leave the house, the goal is to spend time with people who make me laugh and refresh my spirit so when I go home, I can be a better person. I don't want to talk about my kids, I don't want to talk about therapies, or school problems, I just want to be me. I want to shelve the problems I experience every day and just take a break.

The problem is, al…

An Autism sharing moment

Today, I was asked to participate on a panel at Towson University. The panel was designed to give the students in their autism studies classes a personal look at autism. These folks either already worked in education and were pursing a Masters degree or were training to work in special education.

These folks are the few, the brave, the "heart on the sleeve" teachers that are placing themselves in the valuable position of special education teacher. 

We were there to tell them about the thrills of autism ownership and give them advice on how to help/ connect with their students and their families. 

There were five of us on the panel with children of different ages and experiences. We were handpicked for various reasons and asked to share our stories. The similarities in our stories bind us as a community. 

Here's a few things we all have in common:

* We all noticed something was different, off, atypical of our children at an early age. Trust your gut.
*We all had to pay out of p…