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Life with twins



Every time I venture out with the twins, we are approached by the curious, engaged in conversations and are stared at.  I always get the question: "Are they twins?"  As I say "yes", the treasure chest of potential  obnoxious responses given to me by my "Zen is so over-rated" Yoga students, opens in my mind: No, they aren't. One is two years older, I just don't feed her.  No, one is a boy, but I wanted two girls so I dressed them alike. "Are they identical?", is always asked next.  As I nod, some ask  "which one is older?" S is older than R by four minutes.  "What are their names?" Inquiring minds want to know. Once all of their questions have been answered, they always say, "they are so beautiful. I love their hair." I always respond, "Thank you. It's all me."  But they are so busy fawning and fussing, I know they didn't hear me. They part saying, "you've got your hands full," And then they go on their way. You don't know the half of it, Lady. You'd fall on the floor if you knew they had three brothers.

While I was pregnant with the girls, a few yoga sessions were spend trying to figure out the worst possible name combinations because I was asked to the point of annoyance, what I planned to name the girls. Our top two names were: Jalapeño Bertha Maude & Gertrude Agatha. It was funny watching people trying to mask their reactions to the names. Hehe, what you think, nosy?

 I often get asked how I can tell them apart. When they were born, we dressed them differently. R always wore pink and S wore purple and every other non-pink color.  As they grew, they began to show their differences. In every picture, R has a big smile, and S is more subdued.  Even though they are identical, they are two different people. They wear their faces differently and have different voices. They have different interests. R loves Strawberry Shortcake and S loves Dora & My little pony. S is my daring one, while R is more timid. They like different foods. But, the biology is the same. When one goes potty, the other is right behind.

The girls are our first typical children. Their language ability and the way they play with each other makes us laugh and smile every day. #2, the apsy, was the only one of our boys that spoke in sentences at a very young age, but he was talking at us and not with us. The girls ask questions and share their observations all the time.They have eye contact and want to do art. It was a shift for us, we didn't know what it was like to have typical developing kids or girls.

What joy it must be to have a built in wing-man. In each other they have a best friend, partner in crime, and comrade. The flip side, is that in each other is a fellow antagonizer. They are a pair and they each feel naked with out the other. When one is lagging behind, the other will not move forward until she has caught up. They are a constant consideration for each other and have seldom been without the other. When one falls asleep on the couch, the other is stroking her face, giving her princess kisses to wake her up. When one is crying and the other didn't cause it, the other is trying to help. They can't have snacks without the other. You make a bowl of snacks for one and she asks for another for her "sissy". Share and share alike. That is, until they don't feel like it, and then the fighting begins. They used to be big hair pullers. I'd be doing something and hear one scream in anger and then I'd hear the sounds that usually accompany hair pulling. I'd look up and sure enough, one had a handful of beautiful golden locks dragging the other to the ground.

At four years old, the girls are starting to realize the attention they draw. Twin R is particularly aware. "Mommy, I am so beautiful. I am a pretty butterfly princess," and then she dances around flapping her pretend wings as she sings. I call it, crack butterfly. Her sister joins her after a couple minutes, but she is the more reserved one. Perhaps she knows even now, that less is more. R will engage people she sees looking at her and gives them a reason to keep looking.


I can't tell you how many times I've had to look away so they don't see my face that is trying to stifle the laughter. They crack me up because they are the perfect pair. I may not feel that way in 10 years, but for now, I'll take it, along with lots of video. I need something to hang over their heads when they get older. "I will not hesitate to put that in the senior slide show..."




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