Lice, Disease and Nutrition
"Hey mom", #2, the aspy, says on the way home from school, "did you know that lice are little bugs that live in your hair and suck your blood?" I asked him where he learned that, hoping that there wasn't some lice epidemic in school. Lice like the clean hair, my kids aren't that clean, maybe they left him alone. Cause all I need is a freaking lice epidemic in my house. "I learned it in health class," he said. Whew, no lice. Awesome.
Over the next two hours, I learned everything that teacher taught him over the last two days. "Did you know that some diseases have no cure like diabetes?" Why yes, I did. I learned all about that stuff in massage school. "And mom, did you know certain diseases are contagious like the flu and other diseases are not contagious." Yes, #2. I know. Please stop talking. When the other kids wanted attention, they had to yell over him. At one point #3 told him to "stop talking." But he just couldn't stop. The kid was just a puke-hound of information, spewing it where ever it would go and pouring it into anyone's head in his general proximity. And when he ran out of facts, he started making them up and just waited for someone to call him on it.
"Mom, you know lots of people have allergies like me(he is allergic to Eggs, wheat, dairy, grass, oak and maple trees) and they get rashes like I do. Ms. Carol's daughter is allergic to dogs."I took a peek at his computer and saw "Rashes" on Wikipedia. Great, now I'm really hungry.
"Hey mom, how do you spell diseases?", he asked. I looked at his screen and I saw this:
Later at dinner he shared his sudden expertise on nutrition. "Mom, make sure you don't eat too much. You need to have a balanced diet with lots of brain-food" Thanks #2, what are you saying? are you commenting on the quantity of food on the plate prior to your sisters poaching it or are you throwing up again? I asked him what brain-food is. "It is pretzels and bread and other carbs. They are good for you." He said this as he grabbed a hand-full of gluten free pretzels. I then told him that too many carbs will make you sleepy so he had to follow the portions sizes on the package. He also had to use a bowl. "I know that mom." Oh you did, did you?
If I can't shut him up, let's have some fun.. "Hey #2, if I had the chicken pox and sneezed on your brain-food, would you get the chicken pox." I asked. He smiled, disappeared for a minute and then came back to answer. "No mom. there is a vaccine for chicken pox and I have it. But chicken pox is an airborne disease. Does having the vaccine mean you can't get it?" I told him that vaccinations help the body resist disease but it wasn't a guarantee. "I knew that" he answered. Yea, right. "Then I would open a new bag of pretzels." Good answer.
"Mom, I'm going to go look up Ebola virus," he said as he left the room. As much as I love seeing his ultra-awesome brain working, at that moment, I was just glad for the quiet minute or two I would have until he threw-up again.