Things could always Be Worse

When I was growing up, the only family I knew was my Dad's family, a bunch of close-knit Jews from South Ozone park, Queens. What I learned about people's outlook on life, was that there were three ways to view things: the glass half-full, the glass half-empty, and the Jewish way: you should be grateful you have a glass at all and that it doesn't have a crack in it so all the water drains out. Then you'd really be in trouble.

My grandmother always used to say, "it could always be worse". Those words would always accompany, several of those grandma sounds, and the waving of her hands. (You have to imaging a 98 year old Jewish Grandmother saying this phrase.)

Her words stay with me always. It should be the first line in the parent bible. "No matter how bad things may seem, they could always be worse." And then there was vodka...

So, when the kids spill tomato juice on the kitchen floor, It could've been worse, they could've spilled it on the carpet. When two of the kids are fighting, it could be worse, there could be a major brawl involving all five kids in my family room; complete with whining and screaming children holding fist-fulls of golden hair challenging the sound barrier with their screams that would deafen a pack of hungry seagulls.  It all could be much worse.

When #1 answers the phone and says, "hello this is...what do you want?" then hangs up before the person can answer, I am glad it's some 800 number instead of a Hugh Jackman asking me to lunch. That would be way worse.

When one of the twins is running around the house proclaiming "I have to go pee-pees" and winds up leaving figure eights of pee on the rug, it could be worse; it could've been on the sofa. And, I'm glad it's just pee. No bleach required. That would be way worse.

When #2 has a crappy day at school and spends time in the principals office, it could've been worse, he could have had a crappy day and failed his math test, instead of acing it. 

When my husband walks back into the house after being gone for 11 hours, it could be worse, he could be overseas, like he used to be way back when #1 & #2 were little. At least he's home every day. 

When the boys have really tough times transitioning to school in the morning, which makes the morning so delightful, it could be worse. They could choose not to transition out of their funk and make bad decisions to get them an audience with the principal.

When I get angry the kids have left toys scattered all over the floor and I have to navigate crossing the floor as if I were a 007 character, I refocus, acknowledge that it's a temporary thing, and know if I twisted my ankle on their crap, that would be worse.

When I get jealous of my friends who have family nearby to help out, I think of the stories I have heard from friends that have such a situation, and when it involves in-laws, it is a lot worse.

When I have to watch Strawberry Shortcake for the millionth time, it could be worse. It could be Barney. I wish all dinosaurs were extinct.

When the kids want to listen to One Direction or other music over and over again, It could be worse, it could be children's music, which I have fondly renamed: Music to slit my wrists by.

When I run out of vodka. Wait, what? at least I still have brandy, Bailey's and a fridge full of beer. (I used to be a girls scout leader, I don't mess around with essentials) Running out would void the need for a glass and that would be a million times worse.

So when I wake up each morning and hear the sounds of my little locusts, I know that no matter how crazy the day will get, I can handle it. Because, It could always be worse. And I have vodka on standby.