Same Crap, Differnt Location, The Florida trip, part two

Disney, the "ultimate place for everything awesome". That's what the DVD implied, but our first impression was an entirely different story.

We got to the Magic Kingdom, parked the car, sprayed everyone with sunscreen and got on to the trolley. We were lucky to have Eric, our therapist, along for the journey. We got out of the trolley, went to bag check, which took quite a long time and I wondered why they didn't have more people working the tables. People do bring bags in far more often than they don't, but I digress. We went to the ticket booth, showed her the tickets and wondered why she told me to write everyone's names on the tickets, and then handed us our buttons, "My first time at Disney." We then went to the gate to enter the park. I had all the tickets in my hand and was intent on keeping those expensive tickets safe during our transition through the gate. However, that was not the Disney plan.

We approached the gate which was manned by an older, English woman. Definitely someone's pissed off grandma somewhere in the universe. I approached her with the tickets in hand and asked if I could scan them for the kids, but before I could tell her why, she yelled to the air, "each person needs to hold their own tickets." I tried to explain again and she yelled her statement over again. Chaos at the entry point. I attempted to hand the tickets to each of the kids and that is when it turned to shit. #1 threw his, #2 refused to take his and #3 completely melted and started screaming. The girls took their tickets and with assistance, made it through the gate. Before #3 had a chance to hit the English meanie, Eric grabbed him, pushed him through the gate and brought him to a quiet place in the shade. (It was really hot). At that point, another Disney cast member walked up to Eric and #3 and asked, "this is the happiest place on earth, why are you crying?" Then #3 screamed again while trying to hit her. How about I punch you in the face. Would you be happy? Eric replied, "Because this whole process is not Autism friendly. Go away." The verbally wounded cast member departed and we joined them shortly after. But then, we had to deal with #3 who was hitting anyone he could get close to and #1 who was agitated listening to #3 scream and was trying to squeeze him. So, we had to separate #3 and #1 and we had to praise #2 for not getting sucked into the vortex. Meanwhile, the twins were pulling on me to get moving so they could see the castle. It was a scene.

Great, just freaking great. I just spent hundreds of dollars to go to an awesome place and some idiot bitch just wrecked it for my family. When #3 melts, it is unpredictable what the outcome will be. Sometimes he recovers and other times, it takes the whole day for him to regroup. It was hard to determine what he would do, so we let him chill-out with Eric as I went to the guest services desk to get the pass which would allow us to move to the front of the line on the rides. I then told the cast member about our horrific experience at the gate. She advised that I send an email to the website. Great. Just freaking great. You can hear my kid screaming from here and you're not going to do anything? Can I punch you in the face?
 
When I returned with the pass, #3 had calmed down a little bit, so we decided to push it. We had a character lunch scheduled for an hour after we entered the park, so we had to go. We had time for one ride before lunch and armed with the pass, we were able to ride the ride and make it back for lunch. Disney has a special pass for people with disabilities that allows them to move to the front of the line. This pass is essential to success at Disney. If the kids had to wait on line for more than 10 minutes, they would have lost it and it would have been a complete failure. The pass allowed us to avoid the meltdowns and whining, and we were able to have a good time. 

#3 did recover and by the time we went to the character lunch and met Winnie the Pooh and friends, he was fine. Still a little pissy, but fine. The kids had a great time even though we missed some rides because of the rain. The best part was watching the kids dance and react to the Electrical parade. Watching the kids faces as they saw the characters and the princesses,  the Disney promise materialized, "give your kids the memories of a life time." After watching them and hearing them talk about their Disney experience, I believe we did exactly that. 

At least we will have a leg to stand on when they're in therapy. We'll always have Disney.

 

Same shit different location. Part one of the Florida Trip Series.

When I first thought about taking the kids to Disney for our family vacation, I ordered the Disney vacation DVD and watched it. And then I heard the following: "planning for a vacation is almost as relaxing as being on one." Are you fucking kidding me?  Obviously, the person who wrote that script did not have kids or know anyone that did. "Just as good as"? Really? Fucking really?

Stop looking at me! No,YOU stop looking at me!

Disney World is the one trip they can have during their childhood that proves you weren't an absolute failure as a parent. We'll always have Disney. When they are doing their introspection in therapy, years from now, they can always say, "my parents took me to Disney world. I met Winnie the pooh and Tigger too, whoo hoo. They weren't that terrible." That should take some of the sting off.  But I digress. We figured it was a good time to take the kids to Disney. My cousins were in Jacksonville, Grandma was in Clearwater, and the kids all liked the same stuff, so I didn't have to worry about entertaining children with incompatible interests.

The problem was, we were going to have to drive. Seven plane tickets and renting a car was cost prohibitive. It was already going to cost us a lot of money just for the theme park tickets, not even mentioning meals. So I had to plan for the 13 hour trip. Hey Disney, How fucking relaxing is that going to be? I think I hate myself.  Packing for five kids and myself was crazy, but at least I had a system. I had several sets of e-bag travel cubes which come in different sizes and different colors. Each kid had a different color. I could open a bag and easily find the things I was looking for because everything was compartmentalized. #1 didn't wear short sleeve shirts until May, so I had to go digging in the hand-me-downs to find some. Can't have this kid wearing long sleeve shirts in Florida in June.

How was I going to prevent meltdowns, smack-downs, and scream fests during the road-trip? Tell me Disney, since this is so fucking relaxing. Benedryl? Valium? Ebay had some of the answers.

I scored several Nintendo DS games and a DS system on Ebay for very cheap. I also bought a second dual screen DVD player for the car, since the boys wanted to watch Star Wars and the girls were into My Little Pony. I then went to Five Below and bought them all headphones. That purchase alone, made the ride blissful at times. When the only sound is silence, and the kids are around and not sleeping, it is such a rare and special moment that you can almost hear the angels singing. Redrum. I bought some "Magic Pen" books and assembled goodie bags for each kid. I also made a stash of new things I could give them to avoid meltdowns and stuff for the way back. I was the prep-diva.

While I was packing the van, I noticed a cellophane wrapped bottle. My friend Adrienne left me a birthday present on the dashboard; a bottle of vodka and a 24 ounce cup. Score! She is the best person in the universe. At the very sight of that bottle, I was thanking all the gods that wanted to take credit. If there was ever a sign that said "Jesus, loves you", it was that bottle, on my car, on that day. Jesus for Jews. I'm on that.

We took off and planned a stop every three to four hours, so the kids wouldn't lose their minds. Later, I realized, I was the one who needed the break since I would get really stiff and my sciatica would flare up. We planned to stop over one night, eight hours into the trip. I packed one bag with all of our stuff for that night so we didn't have to sift through the van looking for stuff. It was quick and easy; one bag in, one bag out.

I  also packed a bag with extra clothes for the car. Which contained clothes just in case someone had an accident, car sickness, or made a mess. #2 and Twin S had a history of car sickness, so we were ready. In addition to my car-ready stash of video games, movies and clothes, I also had a package of baby wipes, handi-wipes, plastics diaper baggies and food.

Just imagine trying to pack food for the locusts. When they are at home, they are non-stop eating machines.  Now imagine them confined to a car with little to distract them. I knew that by the end of the trip the van would be absolutely trashed.#2 is allergic to wheat, eggs and dairy, so we had to pack-up his special foods for the drive and the entire trip. We also had to pack up the cereal that the girls MUST have every morning. At the end of packing, our car looked like we had just robbed Trader Joe's.

So how'd it turn out? #1 was car-sick the entire first leg of the journey. The poor kid was a puke-hound until we stopped in South Carolina for the night. Where's the Febreeze? I was really glad I packed extra clothes for him since we had to change him completely at our first stop. When we finally made it to Jacksonville on the second day, we got to take a nice break at my cousin's house. The kids got to swim in their pool, eat a nice meal, and bond with their cousins. We then did the last leg of the trip to Clearwater Beach to see Grandma for a few days before we headed to Disney. 

Was it terrible? Nah. It was fine. We had our share of crankiness and issues, not just from me, but the good outweighed the bad and the vodka bottle remained intact, both inside and outside.

Lego Warfare

 We were in Lego land, in the section where the kids can build their own race cars and then test them. A couple of the boys got it, but #1 and the twins were playing at the table that you could build a building and then push a button to test it's ability to withstand an earthquake.  #1 would run up and push the button to make the girls tower collapse. It was a game and they were getting a little crazy,

Then, Twin R walked up to a boy approximately the same age, and smacked the car out of his hand. The car fell to the ground and came apart. The kid was shocked and upset, the dad was shocked and angry, and I was saying "oh shit" in my head more times than I could count. The dad angrily said to me, "teach your kid some manners." Now any parent's reaction to a situation in which someone attacks their child, even if they are in the wrong, is to defend their kid. But, in the seconds following his accusation that I never taught my kids manners, I had to stop that dialogue and address the situation at hand; Twin R was very rude to that boy.

I said to the dad, "hey, you don't have to be like that, this is a teachable moment." I kneeled down to the boy and asked, "did she knock your car down?" He nodded.  I told him as I picked up the pieces to his car, "I'm really sorry she did that, that was very rude. I know you worked very hard to make that car". I then addressed Twin R and said, "You broke his car and that was very rude. Look how sad you made him. You need to apologize." At that point she was sobbing, but managed to say the words through a stream of tears and snot. I then sat her against the wall for a "time-out". The dad was still angry and stormed off, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw the mom. She had watched the entire exchange from the periphery and when I looked at her, she smiled at me. Was that a "thumbs-up" in crisis management?

I was used to diffusing situations that the boys had gotten themselves into. But with them, I always had the Autism excuse to diffuse or justify, to some extent, the severity of the act. I believed that there had to be some trigger, some external stimuli to cause the behavior.  However, with the neuro-typical girls, rude behavior was just plain rude. And, bad behavior is a publishable offense.  If any of my children had knocked the car out of their siblings hands, the behavior would have been dealt with the same way minus the implied shame from "not teaching your kids manners."

I am sure that Twin R didn't realize the severity of her actions until they were pointed out to her, which is identical to what I have encountered with the boys. They were free-willed entities acting impulsively and didn't realize their wrong-doing until they had to face the music.

Reflecting on that moment, I realized that all people are learning to navigate the universe, dealing with impulsiveness, and self-modulation while trying to figure out which behaviors work and which ones won't. Some people learn to do it better than others, but  they all learn how to as they grow. They learn through practice and guidance from their parents and teachers.

People will naturally act defensively when attacked, verbally or physically. We should keep that in mind when addressing someone who is obviously in the wrong, if we want to have a "teachable moment."  When that dad came at me, I had to work very hard not to get sucked into an argument with him. It quickly could have become a shit slinging match about bad parenting instead of addressing the cause.  Dealing with a parent more pragmatically, "hey, your kid just knocked the car out my kid's hand, how do you want to approach?", may be the way to go.  It may be awkward, and is no guarantee that the parent won't act defensively, but, taking judgement out of a situation, may be the first step.

Summer Epidemics

Three weeks into summer vacation and I'm already seeing the posts my friends are writing on Facebook about how they wish school would start soon. It is an epidemic of "my-kids-are-driving me-fucking-nuts", and it seems to be everywhere, including my house. 

We went away for two weeks right after school ended. We were busy and had a mission. Every day had an activity and the days were full.  But our first day back to normal, I wanted to hide in my closet and write blog posts while drinking vodka. At least they would be funny. The twins were attached to me. My two little mini-mes followed me everywhere and when they lost sight of me, they screamed as if someone had chopped an arm off.  I couldn't have one minute alone without a child demanding something from me. #2, the Aspy, wanted to tell me everything that was on his mind about how movies were rated. "A 'G' rating is for everyone, but 'R' is for adults only because they use explicit language. Mom tell me some of the explicit words they use." Nice try. Nice fucking try. #3, PDD/NOS/ODD, had to scream above everyone else just to be heard and when it finally got quiet enough to hear him, he couldn't remember what he had to say or #2 said it for him already. #1, textbook Autism, was running between two TVs, his computer and the DVD player downstairs. He was interval watching; a new cardio-sport that makes watching TV the primary focus. He started at the computer watching "Just Dance 2014" on YouTube while getting his Bar Mitzvah moves on, and then he'd run into the family room to watch Doc McStuffins, then he'd run into the family room to watch whatever show the boys were watching and then he'd run into the basement and watch the Wiggles. Then the cycle would repeat. If I was daring enough to turn off one of the TVs while he was in another room, he'd approach me and say, "now, why'd you do that? I was watching that." So much for trying to reduce our carbon footprint.

True, the kids may drive us crazy, but the unstructured time is when they can have spontaneous interactions with their siblings. Ok, some of that may require a referee whistle, and some may involve various types of antagonistic behavior, but some of that also involves reciprocal language, game playing, turn taking and laughter. I love watching the girls play stuffed animals together. They have a plot, dialogue and are so entertaining that I could watch it all day, or until they disagree and grab each others hair. It is quite a sight to see multiple children playing "Just Dance" together. I also like watching #2 and #3 play Legos together. #2 narrates the entire story and #3 goes along with it until he disagrees and then they have to compromise. Sometimes it works out and sometimes they wind up fighting. That is when I have to step in and teach them how to navigate out of conflict.

The craziness stems from the transition from structure at school to Saturday-Land. It is logical to be proactive and plan activities for the kids, but taking five kids anywhere is hard. Especially if one of them has a tendency to wander off. Bowling isn't just bowling when you're constantly telling your kids to get away from the video games to take their turn. Taking your kids to the library is hard when they have issues with modulating the volume of their voices and they head in different directions. And the pool, forget about it. It's a drowning waiting to happen.

My friend Becky wrote on Facebook that she fantasizes about the Staples ad. Nothing erotic with staplers, But the idea of getting them ready for school and sending them away from home for six hours a day is enough get excited about.

I did get a little giddy while I was going through the mail and saw the Toys R Us ad advertising their "buy the Backpack, get the lunch box free". Woo hoo, it's July! To me, it signifies that school is just seven weeks away, plus, free is my favorite "F" word. Totally getting a bargain. A free lunch box!

So how are the next seven weeks going to play out?  The boys extended school year (ESY) starts next week, and the girls are in a mini-camp for July. But we also are going to enjoy harvesting our garden, capturing fire-flies, watching butterflies(we live in the butterflies migratory path), visiting friends, hosting play-dates, playing video games, teaching the kids to design and sew their own ugly dolls, and maybe even a road trip to Massachusetts. 

Regardless, the summer will fly by, and before you know it, they will be going back to school; armed with their new backpacks, free lunch boxes and school supplies for another year. Which for some of us, couldn't come fast enough.

Potty Training Hell

When any parent announces that their kid will begin potty training, what they are really saying is,"my life is going to be hell. I just signed up for boot camp and until this kid has success, my life is going to suck. It is going to challenge me in ways I never knew and I cannot fail. It is my parental obligation to get this kid to use the potty. I will not fail. I will be a winner and be among the millions, billions, who have crossed that bridge before me. If they can do it, so can I. God help me".

And with "We Are The Champions" playing in your head, you walk up to your 2/3 year old and say, "hey, I want you to meet my friend the potty." Child looks up at you and then runs away faster than Flash could even dream of, then disappears under a piece of furniture you had no idea they could fit under. And that, my friend, is the first time your child said "HELLLLLLL NO" to you.

So you go online, read blogs, take DVD's out of the library and realize that none of it works for your situation. You begin to wonder if your child was Houdini in a past life the way they can disappear when you just mention the word "potty". You beat yourself up and start to lose your mind and then the one thing the kid was trying to tell you all along becomes clear: They are not ready yet.

You put the project on hold and refrain from punching anyone in the face who is bragging about "how easy" it is to potty train their kid and anyone who asks you how boot camp is going. "F-U people, boot camp sucks. Your child is just a product of your OCD ways. I know you duct-taped that kid to the potty." You let yourself go online to research adult diapers and buy a few rolls of duct tape, just in case, of course.

Over the next few months, you approach, re-approach and dangle fancy rewards in front of them, just hoping that something, (please god, anything) works. And then, one day, they comply. They agree to sit on the potty for whatever it is you offered them, (hoping you didn't promise them a small island somewhere) and you have to shake your head because you are in shock. "Did I hear that right? kid is not under the sofa. Oh my, they are PULLING THEIR PANTS DOWN". (cue Queen). Ok, 1/2 second on the potty counts. You can have that Island off the coast of Africa, Madagascar?, sure. 

You start the child on a schedule, you set the timer for every half hour and take off their diapers hoping, just hoping, they don't challenge the stain guard on the new carpet.  You load up on teddy grahams and every time that timer goes off, after thinking "already?", you put that kid on the potty. After two days, you want to get a baseball bat and smash that timer in a million pieces. You are feeling erratic with this new schedule, but the kid is just sitting on the potty for cookies. THERE IS NO OUTPUT. ANYWHERE.  News flash: the kid is working you. They have figured out that to get the reward, all they have to do is sit on the potty. No output required. That is when you have to up the ante and require output for reward. Be it cookies, M&M's, crack, whatever.

The kid responds one of two ways, they agree or tell you "hell no". What you realize after you've upped the ante, is that now you have to do more too. To get the kid to sit there and produce output, you have to sit there and encourage output. So, you get some books, toys and electronics and sit with them. (But be careful with electronics on the potty. My #1 murdered an ipod that way and I learned from the Apple store that more electronics are dropped in the potty each year than you would think, but I digress.)

Days, weeks to follow, you watch your kid like a hawk, (if you have multiple children, a distracted hawk) hoping you can identify the "pre-I-have-to -go-potty-dance", before it turns into, "I-got-to-go-potty-dance", to "I-am-peeing-myself-dance". You clean up accidents, encourage and celebrate successes. 

With all five kids, they were remarkably different. Kids with Autism have a much more difficult time than their typical peers just because many have transition issues. Imagine doing something your entire life and then one day you have to change. This is exactly what potty training is. You are now telling them what was previously acceptable is no longer an option.

We started #1 on the potty at age three, but he didn't have pottying autonomy until age five. With #2, we started at three and by age four he had pottying autonomy but was in a diaper at night for another year and a half. #3 fought us and outright refused. We attempted multiple times with a variety of rewards and nothing worked more than a day. What we learned from him was that he was the captain of his own ship; he wasn't going to do what you wanted no matter what the reward. It was not until we threatened to put him on the potty every 10 minutes,(that was fun) and we did that for a day, he decided to do it on his own.(he was 5.) No night accidents, he just did it. Control was his issue.

The girls....a different breed entirely.

Twin "R' sashays into the room singing, "mommy, I have to go pee-peeeeeees". "Ok", I say," go do it". She replies and her song turn to whine, "no, you come with me." (What are you the queen and want to receive an audience). As she is on the potty, Twin "S' makes her announcement, "I have to go too." (Identical twins. Biology doesn't lie). We are at the point where I am just monitoring autonomous or quasi-autonomous behavior. At almost four, they are just a pull-up at night team and really good during the day. They just want to hold court when they go.

In the end, potty training boot camp varies from kid to kid. you may hear the victory song quickly or it may take years. And when all is done, you're just glad you've made it through. And now that you're not buying diapers, you have more money for beer. Cheers!

Grooming the Cat

I love a morning that I can sleep a little later and not have to wake up to an alarm. Now that the boys are older and a bit more autonomous, they can take care of themselves and help the girls with their breakfast, which allows me a little extra sleep. Usually, I become quasi-conscious after #2 wakes up. He has full conversations with the wall and walks like an angry giant. All of the boys don't have the ability to self regulate their volume yet. We are constantly asking them to speak less loud.  I heard them talking and I turned over and tried to sleep just a little more. I was enjoying my moment.

That is, until I woke up to a twin standing over me, covered in something, yet to be determined, pointing erratically toward the hall and with that, the screaming registered in my foggy head, and I realized that some shit went down while I were sleeping. After I rubbed my eyes while singing a verse of Theory of a Dead Man's, "I hate my life" I got up and discovered that someone opened a box of granola inefficiently and the contents and what used to be the box were laying on the floor next to the toddler scissors. There was a trail of milk from the refrigerator to the pile of granola on the floor. At that moment, I wished I had a dog, contemplated the probability of borrowing someones dog, and then looked for the secondary mess. 

When you have more than one child, there is always a secondary mess which is usually more gross, damaging, and infuriating than the first. And then I noticed something else, all the kids had vanished. Where could they have gone? They knew that the second I found the secondary mess, I was going to pop a gasket and that is why they disappeared.  But, no, I wrote in my parental pledge book that I would not lose my temper and yell at the kids. Well, I guess that was an unrealistic expectation. I am yelling at their asses when I find them.  I was on a quest: to find the secondary mess and the five offspring, I fondly call my genetic mutations. Where were they hiding?

And then I felt something rub against my legs, it was our cat, Psycho. She felt different. Her fur felt different against my legs. Weird. And then I looked down. The cat was covered in sticky tape. Upon closer examination, I discovered two things: there was an awful lot of tape and the tape seems to be holding something. I looked around the room and found the evidence: a pair of toddler scissors, an empty box of cookies and a little pile of cat hair. I then looked at Psycho and started to peel the tape off her. They had cut off some of her fur and tried to tape it back on. Oh, I'm loving my life and the person who thought of putting vodka in breakfast drinks. Where were those little vandals?

I found the twins and they told me who the perpetrator was. Gotta love little chatty four years old who are happy to please.  #2 the Aspy, confessed that he had read some article about the importance of pet grooming and decided to give it a try. I then had a talk about not doing things they read or saw on YouTube  without permission. That is, unless it involves cleaning.

All parents know, that when the kids are quiet, trouble is imminent. But sometimes, I am willing to turn a blind eye to probable chaos in exchange for a few more minutes of sleep. After all, it was just a kitty haircut and not surgery. Thanks George Jessel for inventing the Bloody Mary, it is the only way to start the day at Casa de Crazy.

Sense This

The Baltimore chapter of the Autism Society of America, ASA, recently hosted a speaker to come  and talk about Sensory Processing. Sensory Processing is how your brain via the central nervous system processes all stimuli from the environment. The disorder is when the brain misreads or over-reacts to the external stimulus and it could cause issues among all the senses or just one. It can cause a myriad of reactions, like: when a child freaks out because the florescent lights are flickering or humming even though no one else in the room seems to be affected. It also causes people to cover their ears due to sounds, voices,or excitement. It is why some people can't eat certain tastes or textures. It is why some people freak out going to IKEA.  It is why some kids spin in circles, unaffected and why some kids are afraid of falling. It is about hyper and hypo sensitivities within the senses which means that their brain is unable to regulate them properly.

Most people have some type of processing disorder, be it large or small. After all, we can't expect perfection from our bodies. They are very complex and since so many parts rely on each other, it is easy for something to ago awry. We all know people who can't stand certain voices, and it just may be a coincidence that it is their mother-in-law who triggers the "fight or flight" response. I feel so overwhelmed when I walk into Bed Bath and Beyond, that I have to leave, and it is not because I forgot my 20% off coupon.  Some people love roller coasters and some people can't tolerate them. And some people gag at certain sights or smells.

Our guest speaker brought in different types of materials that are used to help people with Sensory Processing issues. Since they affect all the senses, she had many to appeal to every one, which ranged from squishy balls to snacks. And we were allowed to try them all, which may have not been the best idea for a very giddy, happy to be out of the house, ADHD person like myself.

Because, then she brought out the Body-Sox. It is a stretchy bag with a Velcro closure that you can completely fit into and close. When it got to me, I had to give that baby a whirl. After all, I had several children with sensory issues and #1 would LOVE it, so it was research. I had to do the mommy investigating. In the middle of her presentation, I stepped into the bag, closed the Velcro half way and did my best "here's Johnny"'(my favorite scene from the movie, The shining), causing the speaker to pause while everyone else who knew me, cracked up.  I have to admit, it did feel pretty good in there. If I had on the noise canceling headphones that were playing classical music while in the Body-Sox, it would've been that much better. 

Sensory integration issues are really quite subtle. People react to external stimulation in a number of ways and sometimes, it is often mistaken as bad behavior.  I am sure many people have lost their shit because they heard one too many Barney songs, their in-law's voice, an alarm that won't shut off, or the flickering of a fluorescent light bulb.These things trigger the "fight or flight" instinct which is so overwhelming that it can cause aggressive behavior,  While I was at #3's field day, which had to be inside because of the rain, one child in particular was misbehaving. It wasn't mine, Yippee! He was sent to he office and brought back a bit later. I knew he had some special needs so I walked over to him and asked him if it was too loud for him. He looked at me and smiled, it seemed he was relieved that I understood the issue. He was so overstimulated by all the kids and noise that he couldn't help but bother other kids by touching them and swinging his body around. When I offered him a quiet spot which became sitting in front of me on the floor while I gave him some deep pressure, he relaxed and smiled. And in that smile was his message, "thank you for getting it."

For many of us, it is hard to stop and redirect ourselves or others while we are being sucked into the the "fight or flight" vortex. Many times, people in the midst of a sensory meltdown can't tell you what will make it better, so you have to know how to respond.  In my years of dealing with my kids and learning about all things Autism, I have learned that there are so many subtitles that exist within the diagnosis. I find that if you just sit back and observe the environment and the child's reaction, you can get a general baseline of how they will react to certain stimuli in the environment. But as much as you think you are ready for everything, there will always be something that causes the child to react in a way that screams, "I am having a sensory reaction"  but  you can't pinpoint the cause and it can be very frustrating for all parties involved.

That may be your cue to grab the vodka, headphones, walk into the closet and crawl into the Body-Sox.